So, I haz a present

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Picture sucks arse...way darker in person. Still early because I couldn't help but test at 11 dpo. I just felt it and had some symptoms too! But we shall see! PLEASE BE A STICKY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm here...alive

Back from vacay.

DH is still unemployed although he takes a class Aug 1st and must pass a test after to be able to officially start working and earning money. If it works out like it should, it will be a huge financial increase for us, which is great considering we've been taking some savings money from his 6 wks out of work so far.

Going on cycle 6 now.

Works a bitch. Crazy busy.

I'll try to get back into posting. I steer clear of a lot of things these days because I'm just.feeling.down.

Things can come and go so fast

Don't mind me if I just sulk for a minute here. I'm having a bad evening.

I cannot believe last week, this day, we got the best news of our life. I took aim at my $.99 pee cup and waited and waited and waited. Pretended to cook dinner without an obvious look of wonder and hope that in 3 minutes, maybe, just maybe we'd be pg. I go to check the results assuming it was a negative only to see the most wonderful word uttered by a $15 stick that you treat so poorly to pee on but that holds your future so excitingly, "PREGNANT!" I fluttered about the house to grab another stick. Thank God I used the cup and didn't attempt 10 seconds mid-stream. Ah, should I waste another digi? Wait, I have a generic brand. We'll see what it says. There's a cross. OMG, OMG!!! Stirring dinner. Oh yeah, you can use an OPK to test too. A second pink line on it. WE'RE PREGNANT!!!

I grab DH's gift of an LSU onesie and the closest gift bag I could find...a Christmas one, how lovely! I give him the bag saying it's an early anniversary gift. After some blank stares of trying to figure out what a stick that says "PREGNANT" on it actually means, he grabs me, kisses me and it's the most wonderful evening ever.

Just 2 days later I begin to feel worrisome. Cramping, but that's normal. Pg symptoms can = PMS symptoms. Some spotting.....I freak but yes, brown is ok....now pink....try to stay calm. I cannot be going crazy already. I cannot believe I stayed at work that Friday. I was a wreck all day. My Dr called me back to schedule my first appt. After speaking with the nurse and telling her what's going on, I get slightly reassured it could be normal.

That night and Saturday was horrible. Saturday began the worst day of my life, so far. How can something I was given just 3 days ago, be already taken from me? That's not fair. Brown and pink turned to red. Uncomfortable cramps led to the worst I've ever had. It was not a good day. I did not want to do anything....Sunday either. I spent most of the weekend in bed.

I guess I had that feeling. A feeling I tried to ignore because I was pregnant, actually pregnant! I was going to have a child, be a mother. It CANNOT be taken from me already. But that Saturday I figured out it could and it was. My fears of a chemical pregnancy was a reality.

So I look back to an exact week ago and think man, things can come and go so fast. I'm sitting here in a whirlwind still and my only hope is looking forward to trying again and our future. One day we will get pregnant again. One day. But yet it also scares me. What if this happens again?

Well, my fears were correct

Yesterday I started my period so I guess it was a chemical pregnancy. I'll call my doctor to cancel my appointment for later this month and see if there's anything I need to do.

Worst day of my life, right there. Totally heartbreaking.

::sigh::

I promise to never test early again. I could not put myself thru this again. I felt like the whole time I was waiting for the other shoe to drop so I guess deep down I sensed it. Still blows.

Guess I'll be having a few glasses of wine at our First Anniversary dinner tonight. Yay me. ::rolls eyes::

worried

I should have waited until today to test. I know I should have. I'm at work debating whether or not to go get a peestick or just call the Dr. I have some slight barely pink spotting today that has me terrified this is a C/P. I usually have this the day or so before my period and tomorrow would be CD 1.

Why does this have to be so damn frightening?

Guesssss Whatttt?????

We are so KTFU!!!



I'm sorry it's not the best pic in the world! BFP @ 12 dpo. We're SO FRICKIN' EXCITED!!!! I feel so blessed and cannot WAIT to be a mother. I pray that it's a sticky baby. We already love you so much!

I'll post more tomorrow. I just wanted to share with everyone this evening. Thanks for all the well wishes on TTC and me stressing out. I really appreciate everyone's support!

Love!

I wish it was Friday already. All kinds of funky going on. May break and test tomorrow at 12 dpo. I have no self control. Bah!

And we have sore boobs!

Woot, woot!

And I've got a few other things going on. Keep those symptoms coming.

Unless my body and that whore of a bitch AF are teasing me and in that case, suck it!

8 dpo...

The evil wait

...can kiss my ass!

Since I took B6 this go-round, this cycle should end next Friday. But I'm 7 DPO now, so I'll probably test sooner just because I can barely frickin' stand it now! Please grant me the strength to wait until Monday to POAS so I won't waste a whole dolla dolla before at least 10 DPO.

Buttfuckingsomeofabitch....I have no patience.

The thermometer is on vacay

I'm on CD 7. Period has been over for the past 2 days. I haven't touched my thermometer this cycle yet. I think I don't want to. We're considering the sex.all.the.time route, but I'm scared. I feel like I have to give it all we've got. I think I'll still use OPKs, so with that and sex everyday, is there really any need to temp? ::sigh:: I don't know.

Thoughts?

Negative

BF one yesterday @ 9 DPO. Still early I guess. I'll test tomorrow again @ 11 DPO.

Blech.

Feeling Down

Feeling down these days. I hate my job. It's a good one, but I'm so burned out. I can't move up. I want to do my side business full time. I'm hoping to next year anyway, but I wanted to wait to get back from maternity leave for a month or so before I decided to "stay home with child." Or at least that will be my excuse!

But to do so, I actually have to GET pg! Duh! It's O time, and we've been taking care of things so I REALLY hope this is the right cycle. Please?

Mucinex

sucks donkey balls. Man, those pills are HUGE and they taste gross. I thought PNVs were the biggest pills around. WRONG!

CD 1

Woot! Woot! I'm excited. I knew the past cycle was a bust (yet again) because of 'issues' so I was anxious to get onto April. This cycle was back down to my usual 29 day cycle. Anyway, please, PLEASE let us actually get a shot this month. No stupid 'out of town during O time' or anything else to get in our way of trying. It'd be nice to REALLY try for a cycle...you know, getting a fighting chance, not just going through the days of the cycle.

Ahh, I'm going back to watching 'Baby Mama.'

Well that's not going to do it

TTC issues this month so this cycle's a bust. It was a perfect opportunity but there were issues. I am absolutely crushed as I was so excited about this cycle. Here's to April, I guess.

::le sigh::

Eeek!!!

Sooooooo, DH comes home today for the weekend and guess what Sunday is?...O day baby! Yeh, so he leaves on Sunday to go back to work, but still--it's a close shot. Last month we ended up only being able to try like 4 days before O because of his schedule. So this month we'll have a better timing issue. Now this is if I O according to last cycle (which was the latest in cycle I O'd since June). So there's even a shot that I O earlier which will be even better! Anyway, pardon my excitement or don't read the blog, KWIM!

Wish us luck! The bed shaking will begin this evening...

Why TTC and alcohol don't mix...

I went to a conference for work in New Orleans at the end of last week. I was leaving on Saturday so on Friday night we decided to hit up Bourbon Street.

Well, I end up talking to this company rep from one of our members. He's totally sweet. But what do we talk about for an hour? Charting and pg. Yep, that's right. I'm a barrel of fun, I guess! He mentioned something about it and I was like OMG I totally do that too. The Crown Royal blurs my exact recollection of how it all started. It was really funny though. He and his wife have been trying for 6 months so we talked about how naive people are sometimes about getting pg. We scared off a few people that tried to ease in our convo. lolz!

Good times.

Annnndddd......CD1

On to Cycle #2.

No. 1 was half-ass anyway. 3 days worth of sex? Puh-lease!

Just glad to have an answer.

CD 32...

Still no period. Mild cramping. Doesn't feel exactly like period cramps though. Hmph. The longest cycle in a year of charting has been 29 days. Of course I get mega-cycle when actually TTCing. If cycle 2 is on its way, I wish it'd hurry up and get here already. You're wasting my limited TTC time, ya hear?

14 dpo is still early for BFP so hoping....BFNs since pd was due.

I wish I hadn't missed earlier this week of temping. It'd probably show me what's going on. ::slaps forehead::

@%$#

Edit: Here's my chart, although it's not much help since I haven't temp'd this week. Stupid work trip and concert. lolz.

The wait sucks

I know we were probably way early trying this month, but since the DH is OOT for the month--that was our only time for a visit. My temps look good, but I think they are just playing mindtricks with me. No hope for this cycle based on when I O'd, but alas I must wait until March 2nd to test if I haven't started the next cycle by then. Oh, the wait. BLOWS!